You're Worth It

Being a single parent is not always easy.  No one or very few ever imagines they will grow up to become a single parent. 

Dang, I watched all the Disney movies, like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping beauty, and others growing up and I sure didn't find a Prince.  He was far from it. 

More and more families are being divided and children shuffled from one home to another.  Why and how do we cope in order for our children and ourselves to live each day with joy in our hearts?

I know raising my children, they came first.  There was no contact from their father so not only did I have to be the mother but the father too.  

Mother and Father but what about me as an individual?  Yah, right I thought.  We had many trials to overcome that were created by their father and I chose to give my life for them.

I was fortunate enough to obtain a job that coincided  with their schooling so I only had them babysat for a few hours daily. I had weekends and nights off to spend with them, help them with homework, play, clean up after them and be their driver.  it wasn't easy and I found most nights I was exhausted. 

So actually it was a good thing I put me off, I couldn't think, let alone had another part of me into the equation. haha

Money was tight too.  No support from their father, my parents and sister help when they could, but there were times I do have to admit when I had to eat sparingly in order for them to have enough.  I often stewed over how I was going to pay the bills and if I could manage to keep the heat on for a particular month. It never crossed my mind to buy any new clothes for me, mine came from our local Gleaners, second had store. My children went through alot and my heart couldn't bare the thought of them going through life feeling different or feeling poor. So I did the best I could to keep them feeling we were doing okay.

I never had anyone to discuss m issues with, just the different images I protrayed.  Talking to yourself is fine, but if you start asking yourself questions, arguing or asking yourself to repeat something, then one might find themselves in a white jacket with extra long sleeves and that wouldnt be good.  Having someone to discuss issues with and share the responsibility with is what I missed the most.

As the old saying goes, "If I knew what I know now, I would have done things differently."  And I would have.  I would have realized and changed the way I thought.  I would have taken the time to learned to love me.  

However, I do know without a doubt, I did the best I could.  

I honestly have no regrets, I am a stronger person for all I have been through and my chidlren are amazing.  I am so proud of them. And I now am starting to love me and my our lives are changing.  Woot woot.

Love and peace to you all

Linda